Psalms 127:3
Children too are a gift from the LORD, the fruit of the womb, a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children born in one's youth. Blessed are they whose quivers are full. They will never be shamed contending with foes at the gate.
I had my life all planned out by the time I was 16. I would go to college, get my bachelor's, get into graduate school, meet a successful husband, get my doctorate, have a beautiful wedding, and have a baby by the time I was 30.
Scratch that. I went to college alright, but little did I know I'd meet my best friend and future husband at 19. Life has been a whirlwind since. I finished my degree, we got married, and bought our dream house in our hometown. Now what? Oh, maybe that tiny little thing my darling husband mentioned right after he proposed....
"I want kids by the time I'm 30."
Womp Womp, that was a mere 2 years away.... and approximately 7 years ahead of when I thought I'd have my first. And babies cook for what, like 9 months or something? Meh, all good, we have some time..... Who know it would be so difficult....
I got off the birth control pill and we jumped right into trying. I always had the mindset that it would be a piece of cake. I mean, 16 year olds do this all the time.
But then it didn't happen. And still didn't happen. And then again. Shit. This sucks! I downloaded every baby app I could think of... I researched trying to conceive, bought ovulation predictor strips, looked intro charting, and fortunately met some of the most amazing people who were struggling just like me ((you know who you are!!)).
So here we go. Time to put my thoughts into writing, a year later. Being infertile is a scary concept to consider... but I know I'm not alone.
Oh my little boo bear (lol). This has been such a long journey for us both and I truly believe that our time is coming. I believe that if there was an upside to this whole situation, it's that I met you. I am so very thankful that I have you in my life and to go through this with. I can honestly say that I would be a mess without you by my side throughout this all. You truly have been my strength during this long and exhausting time. I can honestly say that I have never felt closer to a friend as I do you because of this situation. The funniest/best part of it all is that we are able to be as close as we are without ever having met face to face. That just shows how strong our bond is as friends. I know that our bond will only continue to grow as we finally get the babies we have dreamed about for so long (which I can only hope and pray will happen soon). With that being said, keep your head up and a smile on that pretty face because our time IS coming.....even if we have to adopt our little black babies.
ReplyDeleteLove Love Love - Alisha