Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Totally in love

Obviously I haven't had a ton of time to update this thing, but I feel like I should note a few things going on!

Natalie is an absolute angel. She is becoming more and more beautiful every day! We have another weight check on Monday, but we aren't concerned. She's definitely gaining weight and eating like a champ. She is also sleeping longer stretches and is awake much more often. She is so alert, looking around, and learning about her world. She is the best thing I've ever done with my life.

We are exclusively  pumping and bottle feeding breastmilk now. It's not what I wanted at all, but at least she's getting the good stuff. I've pretty much healed up from her bad latching early on, but it's honestly been a few days since I've attempted to breastfeed her. I guess I'm a little traumatized from earlier on.

We got our labor and delivery pictures back a few days ago... they're amazing! Our slideshow brought tears to our eyes. We also have about 14 previews from Natalie's newborn session. They're also amazing. It's crazy how much she's changed.

By day 5 I had lost all of the baby weight... all 19 pounds of it. Things still don't look like they did, of course, but I'm happy to see my feet again! I'm also happy to be back in my normal jeans!

It's also crazy how you adjust to not sleeping... I'm running on about 4-5 hours right now and I'm not completely sure how I'm functioning. I'm sure half of what I've been writing doesn't even make sense haha

Baby is getting fussy, so I'll leave this post with a few pictures of my gorgeous girl!

Friday, March 23, 2012

I spoke to soon... I had a baby!

Can I start by saying how amazing it is to finally have my own birth story?? I've waited for this for so long and we feel so blessed!

Ok, so Thursday the 15th was my last doctor appt. He couldn't even complete my internal because my cervix was so high and back. It was incredibly uncomfortable. We scheduled my next appt and he said we would discuss induction. Because anatomically I am so small down there, a big baby just wouldn't come out. That night I bounced on my ball FOREVER and ate spicy wings.

Friday night the 16th Jason and I were finally eating dinner around 8. I felt pretty decent all day... we spent a lot of time together, I cleaned the house, and we relaxed. After we finished I was cleaning up and feeling crampy. I had been having contractions forever so I didn't think too much of it. They started to pick up and at 9:30 I told Jason I needed to go to bed while he went to play video games. The cramping continued but I felt fine in between. Laying down was really bothering me. Shortly after I started timing things... I was surprised the contractions were coming 45- 55 seconds 5 minutes apart. It was quick.

At 11 I told Jason to come upstairs. He called our friend who is a L&D nurse and described what was going on. She said I was probably in early labor but I shouldn't go to the hospital. I could try to relax and make it stop or I could walk to get things progressing. While he was talking to her I jumped in the shower then the bath. Fortunately I shaved by legs haha I was still cramping and getting nervous.

I got out and we kept timing. Jason could feel how hard my stomach was. By 2:15 I was getting so anxious and started crying. At that point Jason put on jeans, grabbed my bags, and told me to go to the car. I only had one contraction on the 5 minute drive to the hospital. I really thought they would send me home. The nurses in triage checked me and I was 2-3 cm and 80% effaced. I also had my bloody show. They wanted me to walk for an hour to see if I would progress. An hour later I was 3-4 so they admitted me.

We got our room but I wanted to keep walking around the ward. It felt AWFUL being on my back because I was having back labor AND front labor. So Jason and I walked, he gave me water, and we just roamed until he needed to sit down and I needed to be checked. Each time I was checked I progressed. I signed the consent for the epidural, but said I didn't need it yet.

I labored in a bunch of positions... the rocking chair, the ball, the upright bed. Probably around 8 I was sick of the pain in my back. I talked to my nurse about IV pain medicine to tide me over till the epidural so she gave me fentanyl... I LOVED it. I was able to move around and it didn't stall my labor. I felt my contractions but they were manageable.

The on call doctor (who wasn't my OB) showed up when I was 8-9 cm (along with our photographer and family) and he broke my water. I was stuck at 9 cm for a while so the doctor wanted to start me on pitocin. The pitocin SUCKED. It made my contractions so strong and close and the back labor became MISERABLE. Before this my contractions were still 5-7 minutes apart. I don't know that I ever made it to a full 10. There was still a little lip of cervix left but the doctor told me to try and push through it. Jason and the labor nurse were AMAZING.. they cheered me on when I was ready to beg for a c section. I pushed for 2 1/2 hours. They could see her hair the whole time! But she just wasn't coming down any lower. I was falling asleep between pushes. The doctor came in and said I could either rest, keep pushing, or we could use the vacuum to get her out. I don't care what anyone says, pushing does NOT feel good. It hurt a lot! I started crying, but Jason and I chose to vacuum her out.

The doctor warned me he would have to cut me. I ended with a 4th degree epesiotomy.... that means cut fully from hole to hole. Jason watched the whole time to make sure I was ok. The lidocane they injected first SUCKED. Pushing into a giant needle... no thanks. It felt like thousands of bee stings. The vacuum created a lot of pressure and I was sobbing, but knew I had to push. About three pushes with the vacuum (and a lot of tugging), Natalie came out at 3:38 PM. We could see why she needed to be vacuumed-- she came down super crooked so the side of her head is what actually was being vacuumed.

She was absolutely perfect though. We did skin to skin for an hour, I got stitched up, and we were in total awe. She cried for 2 seconds but then was so calm and alert! It was a greater love than I can ever describe. She was 6 pounds 8 ounces and 18.5 inches long. They told me there was no way she would've come out on her own and if I had gotten the epi then it would've ended in a c section. Thank god it didn't come to that. My family came in afterwards and everything was perfect. She fed right away and we were moved to our postpartum room. The pediatrician came in and told us she had a 9/9 on her APGAR.

We had to stay an extra day in the hospital because her biliruben went up a little bit and she had a bad time latching... aka I had open sores all over my nipples. So we've been working with the lactation consultant all week on how to feed her. She's struggling, but I'm not giving up! We are also having issues getting her to sleep through the night. Jason has been such a trooper. God, I couldn't do this without him. We have a weight check tomorrow and then her newborn pictures. I'm recovering alright I guess. By the end of the day I'm incredibly sore and tired. It doesn't even matter though... I'm so, so, SO in love. We've had so much help from my mom and sister... so many people have brought us food which has been very helpful.

This week has been a blur of biliruben tests, doctors appointments, resting, and a million baby kisses! I've never been happier in my entire life.

Friday, March 16, 2012

More disappointment

Well I had my 39 week check up yesterday. BLAAAAAHHH!!!!

Typical stuff.... appointment ran late, normal BP, gained 3 pounds... They asked if I wanted to be checked and I said yes yes yes.

He measured me and listened to the heartbeat. He said he was really happy how far she had dropped and then he did my internal. It was fairly uncomfortable at times which isn't a good sign. That meant my cervix was still high and back. *sigh*

Basically I've made no progress in the past month. He said that if I'm at a 2 next week we can discuss induction options. In the meantime, I'll be doing everything I can to make myself dilate. That means hours on the exercise ball, heavy cleaning and exercise, and spicy food. We'll see how that goes I guess.

Friday, March 9, 2012

38 Weeks and not so great...

I don't know what has happened over the last couple of days, but I have had the WORST hormonal surge. I cry MULTIPLE times a day and most of it is completely and totally irrational. A lot of times I can't even articulate why I'm so upset... and I know that scares Jason a lot when he can't fix my issue. The only silver lining is that I'm hoping this recent hormone rush may be the sign that labor is soon...

Regardless, I had my 38 week appointment today. Jason and I were hopeful they would check my cervix, but no luck today. I haven't gained any weight this week, so I am still between 16- 17 pounds gained. Blood pressure, heartbeat, and uterus size were all fine thankfully. I told my doctor that I had been having contractions on and off and frequent braxton hicks. He said he would check me for dilation and effacement.

BUT when I went to schedule my appointment, Dr. Beier was completely booked. My disappointment was extremely obvious. I'm seeing another associate there, but hoping and praying something opens up. Maybe I will get lucky and won't make it that far!

Meanwhile, please pray for me and my hormones... for Jason's sake!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Oh yeah.... It's March.... WHAAAATTT?!

Time flies... but apparently it doesn't change my ridiculous facial expressions!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

37 Week Check Up Last Week

On Friday I had my 37 week check up! We are going every week now, which is so surreal. It feels like just the other day I was still at 5 week appointments.

Blood pressure was fine again... I've gained a total of 16-17 pounds, which is kind of amazing for me. I haven't exactly been saying no to food haha And I feel like I have completely ballooned out!

The appointment was very quick... Dr. Beier listened to the heartbeat, measured my uterus, and estimated that she will weigh about 6 pounds at birth. I think that's just a perfect size :-) I'm also negative for strep B, so no antibiotics at the hospital!

We had a baby wearing class yesterday thanks to a friend of ours... she came over and showed us all different kinds of carriers, which we really enjoyed! I'm actually ordering a moby wrap right now. Jason is so excited for this!  (not sarcasm at all!). I was surprised how comfortable and convenient the carriers were... even with bigger babies. I mean, I was totally comfortable with my big basketball belly while wearing a 6 month old!

That's about it.... still waiting for the ceiling fan to be installed... and I'm really hoping the doctor checks me next week. I'm very very ready to be in labor!

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

We're almost ready....

To Do:
Install fan
Install car seat
Go into labor!!!!!!!!!!!

We can't wait to meet you baby girl!!!!